touchdown

we're finally here! pr210, the flight from sydney to manila was far better than i expected. i guess it helped a lot that mama was with us during the trip. aidan pretty much just slept and ate during the flight.

i've always been excited coming home to the philippines but this trip is extra special since i'm bringing aidan with me. this will be the first time my sisters and my in-laws will meet our little man.

as expected, it was very hectic the moment papa picked us up from the airport. we've only been here for a little over a week and so far we've been to greenhills (twice!) and trinoma. went out on a date with my sisters to watch hairspray the musical at the star theater in ccp complex. i had my manicure, pedicure, footscrub, haircut and diamond peel already (things that are a luxury back home). met with all the titos, titas and cousins from my papa's side of the family already (as send off to aris, jen and enz and welcome to me and aidan). mommy, ate gigi and tricia also passed by malingap already to meet aidan.

we'll be going to montemar at the end of the month during the long weekend. in preparation for our dos palmas trip after christmas, we're still deciding if we want to do a practice dive in anilao around the first week of december. we're thinking of checking-in at shangri-la for my birthday on the 10th. eric will be only be joining us here in manila a couple of days before christmas so he's missing a lot! aidan will also be celebrating his 8th and 9th month birthday here so we're thinking what celebration to do while he's with family in manila.

hectic? this is the longest vacation i'll be having in manila eversince we moved to sydney and i sure intend to make the most out of it!

got milk?

i'm all for breastfeeding (i'm proud to say that my little man is still breastfed) and i believe that breast is best (if it works for you) but this is too much.

ben and jerry’s new flavor: breast milk cheesecake swirl?

i wouldn't even taste my own milk. but if you think about it, we ARE drinking the milk of cows.

happy birthday!

the fourth trimester

they say that the first three months of your newborn's life are considered the fourth trimester. i can't believe eric and i survived it.

i seriously was scared leaving the hospital that drizzly cold tuesday afternoon. i felt that if i stepped out of the hospital, that was it...it's time for the real world. i could no longer bring aidan back to the nursery. driving home with the little man strapped in his carseat sucking mama's pinkie was surreal.

it was a blur of activities after that. i remember there were a lot of activities and gatherings going on. there was the baptism that we had to plan. and then there's the getting used to not having mama around since she was due to leave for manila soon.

to say that the two weeks after mama left was crazy is an understatement. i didn't know what to do. i didn't know how to eat, let alone go to the toilet with a baby cradled in my arms who wouldn't let me put him down (sometimes i don't get to brush my teeth at all until eric comes home in the afternoon!). the lowest point of my day would be when eric had to leave for work since that means i'm left alone to take care of aidan. i'd constantly check the clock how much longer till he gets home. there was this one day i remember that i was holding aidan from the time eric left till he came home, kulang na lang ihagis ko si aidan sa kanya when he stepped inside the house. i'd call him frantically throughout the day because our baby just kept on crying and crying and my nipples hurt already from all the sucking he was doing all throughout the day. i felt like it was going to fall off soon! i dreaded going out because we just can't seem to console aidan not to mention the crying and screaming fits he would throw while in the car. there were times that i would just cry whenever he's crying because there's nothing else that i could do. no one told me it's going to be this hard. i'd look back and miss my old life so much, where there was order...where i was in control of things.

but you know what, the hard part eventually passed. he was sleeping and feeding better once we got him in a routine. he started to interact, smiling and making sounds at us. we moved him to his own cot and we got our bed back. funny though since eric and i actually miss him sleeping beside us! he started feeding properly and stopped snacking. he was feeding every two hours and then eventually every three hours, no more comfort sucking which gave my breasts a much needed rest. he finally took the dummy, so he can suck on that as much as he wants. he eventually got used to his carseat and we can now leave the house without the fear of him screaming his head off. he now loves his carseat so much that we haven't even reached the end of our street and he's already dozing off. we were able to go out and about with him in his carrier saving our arms. we would even go to the shops, just the two of us! he learned how to drink expressed breastmilk from the bottle which allowed us to leave him with cousins while we watched phantom of the opera (our first date after giving birth! it was hard leaving him though...). i could leave him in his playcot now so i can eat and attend to some stuff and he'll happily play by himself.

mother's group helped a lot. i met other new moms who were going through the exact same thing as i was. after mother's group, we would head off the local cafe and just sit there and talk. by the time we get home, eric would be home in just a couple of hours!

sure, we still have not-so-good days (according to mama there is no such thing as a bad day) but it's now outweighed by the good days.

i'm amazed at what i can accomplish now. i've learned a lot of new skills i never thought i could and would do. i never considered myself as a patient person but aidan sure taught me and is continually teaching me to be one! it helps that i have a very loving and supportive husband who turned out to be a wonderful father who takes over looking after aidan when he comes home and even in the middle of the night! one who would always remind me before he leaves for work that i don't have to do anything except to look after our little man.

what a roller coaster ride it has been (i'm afraid of roller coasters by the way)!

now i look back and couldn't imagine life without aidan.

let the games begin

*

the whole world is watching, with just 10 minutes to go the 29th olympic games is on.

special delivery

*my long overdue birthing kwento*

days leading to the big day, i was nervous and excited all at the same time! it was actually comforting knowing when exactly you're having your baby. i guess the arrival of my mama and jolly added to the excitement. the day before was my tita bebs' first year death anniversary. so i was able to see most of the relatives while still pregnant one last time. eric and i decided to skip the gathering after the mass and had a nice and quiet dinner just the two of us (soon to be three!). besides, we're scheduled for the induction at 7am the next day!

as expected, i couldn't sleep. i woke up around 6am, woke mama and then had a shower. it was weird driving to the hospital since we all knew that the next time we come home, we'll be bringing our little one with us!

we arrived at the delivery suite a little after 7am. i tried to relax as much as i can (but was too excited!). we even had a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs, mushroom and sausages with friands for desert! we took photos around the delivery suite, while i can still manage a smile. around 9am, dr. khan, our ob, arrived and broke my waters. i haven't progressed at all and i was just 2cm dilated, exactly the same as a week ago. i was expecting to feel labour pains immediately and i didn't so i started to walk around the suite. our ob was hoping that once my water broke, contractions will come in naturally...it didn't. so after an hour, they administered the drip to speed up my contractions. i was still feeling okay, every now and then i'd feel a contraction but nothing major. nicola, our midwife, increased the dosage and that's when i started to feel major contractions come. i don't think i ever felt anything close to what a contraction felt like. it was a mix of period pain, stomach cramp and constipation. i remember telling mama that i had to go to the toilet really bad. she keeps on assuring me that it's just the baby pushing. when i was having the contractions one after another, i already asked for epidural. i didn't get it though since they wanted me to try gas first. it seriously didn't do anything to ease the pain, i felt woozy and high with it. so again i asked for epidural, nicola suggested to try pethidine first so i did. she injected the drug on my thigh and i was still feeling the pain but was really sleepy. during this time it was really painful already to the point of unbearable. i wasn't screaming (thank god!) but i kept on saying how much it hurts and kept on pushing the sheets with my legs (my socks kept on falling off because of this). i remember there came a point where mama tied my hair and powdered my neck because i was so sweaty already. again, i asked for epidural. they said that the anesthesiologist has been notified already but is in the operating room or something, i really think they were purposely delaying it. when nicola came in to check how much (or little!) i have progressed (3cm...what???) she had the nerve to tell me that i wouldn't dilate if i'm stressed, i should relax (what the?!@#). good thing i didn't have the energy to argue with her!

the anesthesiologist came in after a couple of hours of agony. :-) i was asked to lay on my left side while he administered the anesthesia. it only took a couple of minutes for it to take effect, all i can say is thank god to whoever made it! i felt relaxed and calm immediately. nicola even told eric to get some lunch. it was mama who first noticed that the baby's heart rate was dropping. i guess she didn't take her eyes off the monitor that's why she noticed. the nurses and midwives came, checked the monitor and before i know it, dr. khan came, checked how far i've progressed (5cm, yey!) and told me the news...i need to undergo emergency cesarean. she explained to me that if she wasn't concerned about the size of the baby and all the other things we were closely monitoring with my pregnancy, she'd be more than happy to let me progress. but given all our concerns, she doesn't want to take any risks. it was a flurry of activities after that.

people started to come in and out of the delivery suite. the funny thing was, eric was out getting take-away for lunch! so mama had to call her and tell him he needs to come back as soon as he can. i was prepped while we were all waiting for eric to come back. i was then off to the theater. eric came with me but mama stayed in the delivery suite and was told to wait there because they will bring the baby to her. i remember being in this small room with this really nice and old doctor (which i later found out was another anesthesiologist) who administered a stronger dose of epidural. he really made me calm since he was explaining everything he was doing even telling me what to expect. as soon as my legs felt like stone, i was moved to the main operating room where i saw dr. khan. eric then arrived all decked in scrubs and was asked to sit beside me and then the anesthesiologist continued talking to us, telling us what's happening, making us all relaxed and calm. i could feel pulling and tugging but no pain at all and then suddenly they were making eric ready his camera since the baby is being pulled out of me. the curtain was lowered a bit so we can see and i heard him, OUR BABY, cry. it was the most beautiful sound, i can still clearly remember it.

AIDAN EMMANUEL ALARCON DOMINGUEZ was finally born. it was the day our lives changed forever.

*pictures here*

he's finally here!

* birthing story to follow...